My First Double Penetration

These four days went over too soon. The weather was perfect, the landscapes were perfect and he; O was a perfect dominating gentleman as always. I simply cannot get enough of this man. I listen to the thoughts in my head and they are silly and cliché but when you know, you just know.

We went for a lovely day out, filled with lingerie and toy shopping. I was a little disappointed in Ann Summers variety of toys, there was only two different butt plugs. I swear one of them weighted 1 kg alone but it was a tiny things. So we settled on the other bright pink one. It didn’t look as big..

Compared to my other beginner one it was very big, but after some thorough groping I discovered that it’s girth was not larger than O.

I’ve always wondered how it would feel like to be double plugged, one in each hole. That night I was going to find out for the first time. It was all I could think about for the entire day. I kept sneaking looks into our shopping bags and just looking at the plug made me aroused.

Somehow it slid in quite nicely, completely painless as it should be. Boy did I feel the size difference from my little one. But it was not an uncomfortable change, a very welcoming difference.

It felt divine. The feeling of having him in front and the plug in the back was extremely intense. The plug was so thick on the middle at the exact right spot that it pushed and pressed him onto my G-spot. After such an intense fuck, I can see myself begging to have the big plug in my ass every so often.

If you are yet to attempt an intermediate plug, I highly recommend it. The Ann Summers one was very good expect for one thing. When I orgasm I had to hold it in otherwise it would literally shoot out like a rocket.

Mission accomplished

The rule was as following: I was not to have any other sexual pleasure than anal sex for my stay here unless I could orgasm from anal sex. Only then as my reward would i receive my usual orgasms. I was to wear at butt plug at all times (including sleeping with one) unless O found it inconvenient.

I can tell you that the idea of it was more than exciting.

Yesterday the 2. april was my first day here and my first proper day of anal training. Things quickly got intense when we got back from the airport. O told me to bend over and inserted the plug. I was then to have it in until he figured I was ready.

He started slow to get me used to his girth and length, then quickly picked up the phase. Yes, it was a little painful but it was painful in the sense that it was intoxicating. And before I knew it, just after five minutes of fucking me in the ass, I came. I came so incredibly hard.

“There goes that plan” O said while he pouted. Another first to add to the list, another thing I can orgasm from.

Frankly i’ve come to the conclusion that I can orgasm from anything if i’m aroused enough.

I’m not really sure what he’s turned our sexual plans into for the rest of my stay, but I know we’re going sex toy shopping tomorrow. My inner-self is clapping her hands out of excitement.

Fifty Shades of Grey and BDSM

Someone pointed out to me that perhaps I should write more about my relationships back story. Due to the sheer volume that’s been written about Fifty Shades of Grey and the feminist’s perspective on a sub/dom relationship.

First I would like to the comparison to Fifty Shades of Grey. This is probably an opinion you have heard many times before; the relationship between Anastasia Steel and Christian Grey is mentally and physically (to some extent) abusive. It has really nothing to do with a “normal” dom/sub relationship. A Dom would never treat his sub like Christian treats Anastasia. One of the most important factors between the Dom and sub is the trust. To be able to open yourself up as much as you possibly can and make yourself extremely vulnerable is something I’ve not found with anyone else than with O.

Anastasia is scared of Christian, she does not feel safe. I cannot stress this enough how important this is, and how much is shows that these books are purely fiction. The only aspect of BDSM it has is the restraints. But even then I need to argue the reason behind him being this “awful monster” as he describes himself. He explains it’s because he was beat and abused as a child, that his mother was a crack whore. And this have made him into a sadist/dom. I’m sorry, but that’s not really how it works in the real world.

I’m a submissive masochist, there is no trauma in my childhood that warrant my fetishes. I can remember as far back as to the age of 11, yes that is very young. Even then I was fantasising about bondage, restraints and a dominant male. It was just there without having any knowledge of the subject, it was something I wanted to experience.

I’ve had many “normal” relationships that’s gone to absolute shit. Is it because the lack of the dom/sub aspect? I would actually say that for some, this is the case. My best example is my ex of three years, where after a few months I simply lost sexual interest completely. I even went to the doctor because I thought it was something wrong with me on a hormonal level. At this point in my life I had put the whole sub aspect behind me, these where dreams that I couldn’t make happen. I did explain my fetish to my ex but it was not something he was interested in. Two years passed and I started pondering if maybe I’ve turned asexual after all these years of countless men that stilled my sexual hunger.

I was very very wrong. One day a text message ticked in from a dear friend of mine, regarding bondage and submission. My loins ached. I knew then what was fundamentally lacking in my relationship and came to terms with myself. If I want a relationship to work, I need someone who is willing to explore this life style with me. This is where O comes in.

On the topic of a sub/dom relationship; a dom will never do something a sub does not want to. In fact in our case it’s usually I who introduce new ideas. I might mention it once and O puts it into play. The one who is really in control in a sub/dom relationship is the sub. The dom cannot act unless the sub opens up and allows the dom to continue. If a line have been drawn by the sub, it will not be pushed because that destroys that important trust between the two parts.

As a person I am a very domineering woman. I like to have control over everything, have a say in everything and god help you if things does not go my way. Many find it very shocking when I tell them that I am a submissive. They usually think it’s the opposite. But nothing is more freeing and exciting to relinquish your precious control and give it all to your partner, to know that in that moment you are all his, and every command he makes is to heighten your pleasure and wellbeing.

Let it be said that me and O does not share a 24/7 sub/dom relationship, he only rules over the bedroom. In any other situation, I am the boss.

Spermatophobia – A phobia for sperm

I can’t remember when I first somersaulted out of the bed and quickly went to wash my hands or body-part, wherever the sperm had landed. I didn’t used to be absolutely terrified of sperm, it just sort of happened. I’ve always thought it was very icky and gross. In my mouth was simply a place where it’s not supposed to go.

I usually warn my partner(s) of my phobia and it’s never an issue. One or two have of course tried their luck, maybe she is just messing around? And thus have cum in my mouth when I specified not to. They were very promptly vomited on.

I’m fully aware that having this phobia and being a submissive does not really go hand in hand but O is very understanding and accepts this little flaw.

I compare it to people’s irrational fear of spiders. I’m fully aware it’s ridiculous and completely harmless. But the mere thought of thinking about the smell, texture and look just gives me the shivers and makes me slightly nauseous.

It’s always a very interesting addition to conversations about things that people are scared of. “What are you scared of Kathrine? “ “ Sperm, I’m afraid of sperm..”

Anal Training

Quite often I’ll have dialogues with myself in my own head. I’ve figured that this is a conversation about Logic and Reason VS Want and Lust

“…. We do like big things in our ass, like a big butt plug” Lust said gleefully.

“No…. no we really don’t. You can handle a small butt plug yes, you’re nowhere near ready for one that size!” Logic wasn’t all too happy with how Lust was taking over. Last time Lust had done this terrible thing of actually telling O that we liked anal. The result of that? He will now only fuck me in my ass until I have an orgasm from anal sex.

“But we really like anal sex and his dick in our ass, and his cum.  Mmmmm.” Lust added to the two way conversation in my head.

“Yes, but do you think we can come from anal sex? NO! No we can’t, and now thanks to you our ass will be so sore that we can barely sit down for our whole stay there since somebody said she wants to be fucked in the ass up to several times a day!” Logic practically squealed, trying to knock some sense into the lust filled brain.

“And our ass will be filled with wonderful cum!” Lust chirped in all happy about the current predicament.

“You have a phobia for semen! You actually can’t handle it anywhere near you! You actually took a somersault one time because some of it got on your tummy, and have to wash them five times with soap if it comes on your hands!” Logic still didn’t give up just yet.

“But in our ass it’s just perfect, we like that” Lust said as a matter of fact and Logic had to silently agree. Yes this was the only place it was acceptable.

“And he will fill it up several times a day! And seal it inside!” Lust went back to its usual daydreaming.

“.. We have to wear a butt plug all day, yes the cum in our ass is very nice. But did you see the plug he found because –someone- said she wanted a bigger one, even though she can’t handle one? That’s right, it have the width the same as his cock at the base! Our whole stay it will stay inside us so it’s ready whenever he feels like using us!”

“Yes isn’t it wonderful?” Lust said dreamily and added “It’s a very pretty plug..”

By the time now Logic had to admit defeat, Lust had won this battle yet again.

“Say the second of April is next week isn’t it? “ Logic suddenly added.

“Oh yes, it is.”

“Ah shit..” They both said in unison.

Best get back to my anal training now. O have had me use a butt plug for hours at a time to prepare me for my delicious treatment to come next week.

Be careful what you wish for, some might make it more true than you ever think possible.

The beginning of our story

My boyfriend O when I met him was very new to the idea of dominating, he had experimented a little bit before but not to the point where I was interested to take things. I explained in very fine details how I would like things because I figured “why not”, I have nothing to lose. If he is scared of all my ideas and fetishes then he will simply run away and shun it like all the rest. But O was different, he always wanted to learn more of my experiences and more about my sexual desires.

He was coming over here in January. My nerves was on high gear of expectations. Someone that knows all my sexual fantasies are going to come here and make them come true. It felt like it was all very unrealistic, a dream world if you will. He came and he went, he did not let me down. After having up-to forty orgasms a day, one could say I was quite happy to have a new boyfriend with the same sexual interests as me.

But all good things comes to an end eventually, ours just happened to be because he lived miles away from me. Another country overseas, but he promised to come back for Valentine’s Day and I was already looking forward to it..

The package

“Something will arrive in the post, do not open it until I am home and on skype with you. I want to see your expression” O said. I of course promised not to open this mysterious package even though my insides where screaming, but I still promised.

I rushed home from work every day that week, maybe it was here today? On Thursday it finally arrived, three packages.. THREE! I checked my skype and my Facebook but O was not on, still at work. I couldn’t wait, he had been so secretive with the content. No matter how I begged and pleaded, even my puppy-dog eyes did not work. My curiosity got the best of me and before I knew what I was doing, paper and bubble wrap was thrown on the floor. All three packages shredded and opened. My eyes widened as I stared at the content in disbelief. Scattered in front of me was; Rope, a red and black collar with a chain lead and a leather noose at the end. A purple gag ball with breathing holes, a long row of purple anal beads and a roll of pink tape.

I sat motionless for a while, feeling the heightened sensation of electrical impulses flush through my body out of pure excitement of what I’d discovered. He had done it, he wasn’t just talk. We had talked about sex toys but never in my wildest dreams did I think he would do it.

“You opened the packages? “ O did not sound pleased. “You were supposed to wait for me, I’ll have to punish you now. “ He said flatly, still unimpressed. “Eh, punish me? Pardon? Just a month ago you hardly knew what punishing meant” I said, trying to sound brave and un-phased by his pseudo threats.

“We’ll see, Kathrine” He said. I felt a slight chill travel down my spine but my big mouth was determined to keep up my façade “Yes let’s see if you’re man enough”, What was I doing? Saying that is like throwing fuel on the fire! Fuck sake woman, learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes. I looked at his web cam on Skype, spotting a wolfish grin on his lips as to say; Challenge accepted.

Man of his word

I yelped loudly as his palm crashed down on the bare flesh on my exposed rear, feeling the sting spread through me and somehow it turns from pain to pleasure in a split second. He smacked my rear again and again, my body wriggling under his hand. I liked it. I knew I liked spanking but this was causing me to become dripping wet and hornier than I could describe. He placed his index finger on the entrance of my ass, slowly circling his finger around it. “Can I play with your ass, Kathrine?” I quivered from the slight pressure he was applying, I wanted him to push it in. “Yes, sir” I answered meekly”. I’ve always had a big anal fetish for as long as I can remember, but the first time someone talked me into trying it hurt, oh god it hurt so much. Since then I’ve shied away from the whole topic but my fantasies have always been the same. Always about anal, my browser history could vouch for that.

One bead popped in after the other, for each one it made me flinch but it didn’t hurt. It felt so good, better than I ever thought it could be. The last two was the biggest, I knew that. We must be getting close now “Are they all inn?” I asked, my voice shivering of pure lust. He chuckled lightly and said “We’re only half way dear.” I gulped and readied myself for the last half of the beads. Only two left now, I felt so full, god I’m so full. But he kept on pushing and eventually they were all inside me “Good girl” he said as he slapped my ass again, causing me to jolt.

He fucked me then with the beads in my ass and it felt divine, like absolute bliss. “I’m coming!” I cried out as I was pushed over the limit. I felt him withdraw, take a firm grip of the small ring at the end of the beads and yank them out roughly. My legs turned into jelly underneath me, I could actually not carry my weigh anymore as the orgasm came crashing down on me. I fell over the arm rest on the sofa. I’d heard of women describing their legs turning to jelly but this was ridiculous.